The GOD Dammed Show

Not your Little Mosque On The Prairie

A Pitch

(with apologies to Christians, Jews and Muslims everywhere)

The Religious right and the Atheistic left. The forgotten demographics.

Forgotten when it comes to comedy that is. We have comedy shows involving straight couples; we have comedies with gay couples; we have comedies with a mix of gays and straights.

What we don’t have is a comedy featuring the god-fearing and the godless as a couple. A demographic, that includes just about everybody, even the Agnostics, who, not knowing what to believe, will watch it just to add to their confusion.

Meet Dick and Jane. Dick is a born-again Christian from Drumheller Alberta. Jane is a former stripper from Montréal who only believes in God when she is having sex with Dick, which is not that often since Dick doesn’t believe in birth control for either of them.

The Papal Guide to Lovemaking is a real bummer for Jane which is why you will often catch her fantasizing about spending quality time with the body builders across the hall. She can't make up her mind who she likes best. Aaron or Abdullah? They are so alike in a prudish, uptight, seductive sort of way. In her ultimate fantasy, she doesn't have to choose.

There is no need to fantasize about sweet Catholic Suzette, a few doors down, whom she got to know in the Biblical sense, if you can say that about two women. They had an act, and after every evening’s performance at Chez Paris, Suzette would stop at the all-night confessional where Father Finnegan was always happy to see her, to hear about the evenings entertainment, and ask for God’s forgiveness on her behalf and impose the Almighty's conditions for forgetting the whole thing. Three Holy Mary’s usually did the trick.

Father Finnegan often visits with Suzette to minister to her spiritual needs and while he is in the building, drops in, if not to argue with Dick about his fundamentalist's views, to try to convince Jane that there is a God and he is Catholic.

Jane met Dick when he boldly led a protest inside the strip club where she was dancing. Momentarily distracted by the guys circling the stage yelling for a stripper named Jezebel, she lost her grip on the pole and flew into Dick's arms. Dick took this as a sign from God. Jane thought he was kind of cute. They have been together ever since.

Think of The God Dammed Show as Friends with an edge. An edge against other networks. Unlike Friends, by introducing God into the mix, we have created a situation where the sexual tension, the possibility for hilarious situations with double and even triple entendres are endless.

You will have an embarrassment of plot lines. Your viewers will never get tired of The God Dammed Show. It will always seem fresh and exciting. Thank God!

Bernard Payeur