The Fractured Nation Interviews
Yeats, the Second Coming and Muhammad
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
W.B. Yeats, The Second Coming
Muhammad: [interrupts] Do you always begin your show by insulting your guest or just when your guest is a Muslim?
Johnny: I’m sorry???
Muhammad: Do you take us Muslims for fools. The poem The Second Coming refers to the second coming of the Christian Jesus doesn’t it?
Johnny: Yes but…
Muhammad: Your guest is a Muslim, and not just any ordinary Muslim but the exalted leader of the Holly Alliance of Muslim Municipalities and your opening remarks are from a poem by a second-rate Christian poet about the end-times and the return of Jesus.
Johnny: It wasn’t meant to.
Muhammad: I accepted the invitation to appear on your program weeks ago. Surely, that was enough time to find a suitable quote from the Koran or an appropriate saying from the greatest poet of all times the Prophet Muhammad, the peace and blessings of God be upon him, unless, it was your intention to insult me and all Muslims.
Johnny: No, it was not my intention, not my intention at all.
Muhammad: Not that Muslims don’t respect Jesus as a great prophet, although not as great as Abraham, Moses, Idris, Joseph the son of Jacob and Rachel, Aaron, and definitely not as great as the greatest prophet of all, the Prophet Muhammad, the peace and blessings of God be upon him, the Messenger of God. Allah The Source Of Peace saved Jesus from death on the cross and took him to Paradise so that he could return in the end-times to defeat the armies of whom you Christians refer to as the Antichrist, and God and Magog.
Johnny: I thought God and Magog was a myth from the time of Alexander the Great.
Muhammad: Yes, the Alexander Romances, but it's not a myth. The Koran in the 18th surah, mentions Alexander the Great's encounter with a people who feared the tribes of Gog and Magog and mentions God and Magog again in a verses about the battle at the end of times.
Johnny: Wow. You wouldn't happen to know these verses by heart.
Muhammad: Of course, every Muslim is expected to at least try to memorize the entire the Koran, starting as soon as they can read.
"Until Gog and Magog are let loose, and they slink away from every quarter. Then the true promise will draw near; and, behold, the eyes of the unbelievers are staring [and they will say]: “Woe to us! We were heedless of this; no, we were wrongdoers.” You and what you worship, besides Allah, are the fuel of Hell, and into it you shall all descend.
Johnny: And Jesus will return in the end-times to defeat the armies of Gog and Magog.
Muhammad: Probably. What what we know for sure is that before Gog and Magog are let loose and are all killed, Jesus, who is with Allah at this very moment waiting for the opportunity, will return to earth to defeat the enemies of God.
Johnny: Where would I find Gog and Magog on a map.
Muhammad: Today Gog and Magog are understood by most Islamic Scholars to be Zionists, polytheists, the largest group being whom you incorrectly call Indous, and Christians who would divide God into three parts.
Johnny: How will we know this Islamic version of the Antichrist.
Muhammad: He will be a Jew known by Muslims as the ad-Dajjal, meaning liar and deceiver. His father will be a rabbi. He will be blind in one eye and his other eye will stick out like a large grape.
Johnny: He will be hard to miss. How will we know the end-times are near?
Muhammad: The same signs that should have alerted the people of Canada that the end was near will be everywhere.
Johnny: You mean the corruption, the concentration of power and wealth, near NAZI-style nationalism, violent cultural and religious clashes, that sort of thing.
Muhammad: Yes, but more important, before what you call The Fracture happened, Canada had become a totally immoral, depraved, decadent society. Pornography was everywhere, men and women were engaging in homosexuals acts in and out of blasphemous so-called gay-marriages, woman singers were everywhere …
Johnny: Women singers as a harbinger of the coming of The Fracture, the end-times???
Muhammad: Canada, before The Fracture, was a factory of seductive, lascivious, women singers who, like that Shania woman sang openly about seducing and having their way with men.
Johnny: And that was a bad thing?
Muhammad: Are you trying to be funny? The Prophet Muhammad, the peace and blessings of God be upon him, predicted that in the end-times, female singers would be popular, and people would be more into music than religion which is why he forbade public dancing and the solo performance of women singers.
Johnny: Interesting. So does that mean as Islam spreads across the world and women singers and dancers are banned everywhere; does that mean that the end of the world will never happen?
Muhammad: No, you fool, it just means that the end of the world will be later, not sooner. The Prophet, the peace and blessings of God be upon him, was warning people that too many female singers and dancers could bring down the wrath of an angry God at any time. All that lasciviousness would bring the end-times sooner rather than later. Unbelievers should be grateful that Islam is spreading so rapidly and banning women singers and dancers; it means that their future in Hell has been postponed, but not indefinitely.
Johnny: I guess we should all be grateful for small mercies.
Muhammad: Yes, and small mercies, if any mercy is shown, is all unbelievers can expect from Allah, The Magnificent; their appointment with Malik is only a matter of time.
Muhammad: The one in charge of Allah’s Hell. Hell is not the Devil’s domain as Christian doctrine would have you believe; everything belongs to Allah, The All Encompassing, even Hell.
Johnny: At the beginning of the interview you objected to my quoting from a poem by Yeats because it referred to the second coming of Jesus. Why would you object when, from what you have just told me, the Koran and the Bible make the same predication as to what believers can expect when the end-times arrive?
Muhammad: [leaning forward] If you read more Koran and less Shakespeare, Mr. MacDonald, you would understand. It is because, when it comes to Jesus, the Christian Bible, the New Testament got most of it wrong.
Johnny: Like the fact that, for Muslims, Jesus is not the son of God?
Muhammad: Yes, and other things, like when the end-times arrive, Jesus will, upon his return, convert the Jews to Christianity instead of Islam. Have you ever heard anything more ridiculous?
Johnny: Nooo … but …
Muhammad: In fact, Jesus when he returns will not only defeat the armies of ad-Dajjal and convert many Jews but will also succeed in breaking the worship of the cross and will stop the eating of pork.