Boreal

LOVE, SEX & ISLAM

Sex in the Hereafter

Paradise – The Nuts and Bolts

Location and Construction

Heaven is just above the clouds, supported by invisible pillars anchored in the earth, and that is the truth; but you probably don’t believe it.

THUNDER

13 Ar-Ra’d

In the Name of Allah,

the Compassionate, the Merciful

13:1 These are the verses of the Book; and that which has been revealed to you (Muhammad) by your Lord is the truth, but most people do not believe.

13:2 Allah is He Who raised the heavens without pillars that you can see; there He sat upright on the Throne and made the sun and the moon subservient, each running for an appointed term. He manages the [whole] affair and makes clear the Revelations so that you may be certain of meeting your Lord.

Heaven and Earth are made of the same materials. This would explain the need for pillars to stop it from crashing to the ground.

21:30 Have the unbelievers not beheld that the heavens and the earth were a solid mass, then We separated them; and of water We produced every living thing. Will they not believe, then?

The rivers that run on what have to be massive layers of Paradise, and which irrigate its gardens, may also be the source of the precipitation that rains down on Earth. Rainwater, which science tells us comes from the surface evaporation of the oceans and then condensation, may actually be recycled water from Heaven.

31:10 He created the heavens without pillars that you can see and laid down in the earth immovable mountains, lest it shake with you, and scattered throughout it every variety of beast. And We have sent down water from heaven, thereby causing it to grow in it every noble kind [of plant].

31:11 This is Allah’s Creation; so show Me what those apart from Him have created. Indeed, the wrongdoers are in manifest error.

Allah compared His Paradise to a skyscraper in the sky.

40:64 It is Allah Who made the earth a fixed station for you and the sky a high edifice. He fashioned you in a shapely manner and provided you with the good things. That for you is Allah, your Lord; so blessed be Allah, the Lord of the Worlds.

After taking care of things here on Earth, Allah remodelled Heaven into seven levels.

2:29 It is He Who created for you everything on earth, then ascended to the heavens fashioning them into seven, and He has knowledge of all things.

It took only two days to fashion the seven levels of Heaven after their splitting from the mass that was Earth and Paradise combined, an accomplishment for which Allah is justly proud.

41:11 Then He arose to heaven while it was smoke, and He said to it and to the earth: “Come over, willingly or unwillingly.” They said: “We come willingly.”

41:12 Then He completed them as seven heavens in two days and assigned to each heaven its proper order. And We adorned the lower heaven with lamps as protection (from the demons). That is the determination of the All-Mighty, the All-Knowing.

While busy renovating Paradise, Allah was not unaware of what He had created below.

23:17 We have created above you seven spheres, and We were not oblivious of the creation.

You should be able to see the lowest of the seven levels from the ground.

50:6 Have they not beheld the heaven above them, how We erected it and adorned it, and it has no cracks?

Revelation 67:3, which follows, may be Allah's way of emphasizing that all seven layers of Paradise are without the cracks that tend to become visible, over time, in man-made structures.

THE SOVEREIGNTY

67 Al-Mulk

In the Name of Allah,

the Compassionate, the Merciful

67:1 Blessed be He whose hands is the sovereignty and He has power over everything.

67:2 He Who created death and life so as to test you as to whoever of you is fairer in action. He is the All-Mighty, the All-Forgiving.

67:3 He Who has created seven stratified heavens. You do not see any discrepancy in the creation of the Compassionate. So fix your gaze, do you see any cracks?

Stare too long or too often skyward and you will strain your eyes.

67:4 Then, fix your gaze again and again, and your gaze will recoil back to you discomfited and weary.

Gardens and Springs

Each of the seven levels of Paradise has at least one garden under which a river runs, what most of us would call an oasis.

22:23 Allah shall admit those who believe and do the righteous deeds into Gardens, beneath which rivers flow. Therein they shall be adorned with gold bracelets and pearls, and their raiment there shall be of silk.

The gardens of Paradise form one colossal garden indeed.

57:21 Vie with one another unto forgiveness from your Lord and a Garden the breadth of whereof is like the breadth of the heavens and the earth; it has been prepared for those who believe in Allah and His Messengers. That is Allah’s Bounty which He confers upon whoever He pleases. And Allah is the Great Bounty.

Each level of Paradise contains two gardens with much greenery and two gushing springs, in addition to fruit trees such as the drought-tolerant pomegranate and those ordinarily found in an oasis, such as palm trees.

55:62 And beneath them (the two gardens) are two other gardens.

55:64 Of dark green colour.

55:66 Therein are two gushing springs.

55:68 Therein are fruits, palm trees and pomegranates.

Buildings

Scattered across these gardens, or on their periphery, are buildings made of bricks. Members of Muhammad’s audience taunted God to rain down a few bricks if His spokesman was telling the truth.

8:32 And when they said: “O Allah, if this is indeed the truth from You, then rain down upon us brickstones from heaven, or inflict upon us a very painful punishment.”

While Allah does not mention any buildings made of pearl, Muhammad said he saw one there; a building intended for married women only, and it is HUGE.

Narrated Abdullah bin Qais:

Allah's Apostle said, "In Paradise there is a pavilion made of a single hollow pearl sixty miles wide, in each corner of which there are wives who will not see those in the other corners; and the believers will visit and enjoy them."

Bukhari 60.402

 By “enjoy them,” God’s spokesman means “fuck them,” as does Allah in Revelation 4:24 where He mentions those entitled to a dowry: “Those of them you have enjoyed.” Revealed truth 4:24 is a continuation of the rules relating to marriage on Earth, which is why I have included the preceding verse about close relatives whom you shall not enjoy.

4:23 Unlawful to you are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your paternal and maternal aunts, your brother’s daughters and sister’s daughters, your foster-mothers who gave you suck, your foster-sisters, your wives’ mothers, your step-daughters who are in your custody, born to your wives whom you have lain with. But if you have not lain with them then, then you are not at fault. [It is also not lawful to marry] the wives of your sons who are of your loins, or to take in two sisters together, unless this has already happened. Allah is truly All-Forgiving and Merciful!

4:24 Or married women except those your right hands possess (captives of war or slave-girls). This is Allah’s decree for you. Beyond these it is lawful for you to seek, by means of your wealth, any women, to marry and not to debauch. Those of them you have enjoyed, you should give them their dowry as a matter of obligation; but you are not liable to reproach for whatever you mutually agree upon, apart from the obligatory payment (the dowry). Allah is indeed All-Knowing, Wise.

God and His spokesman prefer using euphemisms when talking about coitus. I, too, prefer less in-your-face, if more clinical, descriptions such as “having intercourse” when an apt metaphor doesn’t come to mind. Sometimes, however, there is only one word or expression that fits. Words like intercourse imply a consensual activity enjoyed by both parties, which the term “fuck” on its own, as in “he fucked her,” does not. However, even without further information, you may not assume rape. In Paradise, as was the case on Earth, females will have one overriding responsibility: to be fucked in Allah’s service (the same goes for houris) so that He may reward men with the experience. Consent for married women, slave-girls and female captives are not theirs to give, but Allah’s.

2:223 Your women are a tillage for you. So get to your tillage whenever you like. Do good for yourselves, fear Allah and know that you shall meet Him. And give good news to the believers.

It can’t be rape because men do it with Allah’s blessing and encouragement, and it is obviously not about making love, which is not one-sided; in other words, “fuck them”—literally and figuratively—says it all.

Tents in Paradise will be like hollow pearls, but it is their height, reaching as high as half the width of that impressive pearl-like pavilion, that will have you straining your neck in amazement.

Narrated Abdullah bin Qais Al-Ashari:

The Prophet said, "A tent (in Paradise) is like a hollow pearl which is thirty miles in height and on every corner of the tent the believer will have a family that cannot be seen by the others."

Bukhari 54.466

Most of Heaven’s buildings may be multi-level (not unlike a modern apartment complex) and located above a source of fresh water.

39:20 But those who fear their Lord will have chambers over which other chambers are built and beneath which the rivers flow. That is Allah’s Promise. Allah does not break His Promise.

Some believers will be rewarded with the equivalent of a penthouse.

25:72 Those who do not bear false witness; and when they pass by idle talk, pass by with dignity;

25:73 And those who, when reminded of the Sign of their Lord, do not fall down upon them deaf and blind (turn a deaf ear).

25:74 And those who say: “Our Lord, grant us, through our wives and progeny, beloved offspring, and make us a model for the God fearing.”

25:75 Those shall be rewarded with a high chamber (in Paradise) for their steadfastness, and will be received therein with greeting and peace.

25:76 Dwelling therein forever. What a delightful resort and lodging!

Single-family dwellings are also likely to be conferred.

29:58 Those who have believed and done the righteous deeds, We shall install them in chambers in Paradise, beneath which rivers flow, dwelling therein forever. Blessed is the wage of those who labour!

29:59 Those who stood fast and in their Lord they trust.

Some will even have their own palaces.

25:10 Blessed is He Who, if He wishes, will accord you better than that – Gardens underneath which rivers flow, and will build palaces for you.

Still others will receive a piece of land to call their own.

39:73 And those who feared their Lord will be led to Paradise in throngs. Then, when they have reached it and its gates are opened, [they will enter it] and its keepers will say; “Peace be upon you; you have fared well, so enter it to dwell therein forever.”

39:74 And they will say: “Praise be to Allah Who has been truthful in His Promise to us and has bequeathed upon us the land, wherein we are able to settle in Paradise wherever we wish. Blessed is the wage of the labourers!”

Couches

The most often mentioned accommodation, if you can call it that, are couches stretching to infinity. Paradise is a temperature-controlled environment where there is no night as we know it, and where food will be brought to you or available to be picked off a handy fruit tree nearby. This may be all that is needed to accommodate the billions upon billions of men, their houris and the odd wife—though let us not forget the ubiquitous jinn, whose existence will be explained later—without transforming large tracks of Paradise into a suburban nightmare.

76:13 Therein, they shall recline upon couches, and they shall see therein neither [blazing] sun nor bitter cold.

76:14 And its shades shall come close to them and fruit-bunches shall be brought down.

With everyone in such close proximity, it is understandable that God would remove any hatred from the loungers to avoid clashes among brothers in faith.

15:47 We shall remove all hatred from their hearts, and as brethren they shall recline, facing each other, upon couches.

Hatred for the despised unbelievers, however, is everlasting. The loungers will mock the fully aware unbelievers burning in Hell, whose living bodies are never fully consumed by Allah’s Fire—God makes sure of that—which illuminates His netherworld’s perpetual night.

4:56 Those who have disbelieved Our Signs, We shall surely cast them into the Fire; every time their skins are burnt, We will replace them by other skins, so that they might taste the punishment. Allah indeed is Mighty and Wise!

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83:34 But today, the believers shall laugh at the unbelievers.

83:35 Upon couches, they gaze around.

The Beast Below

Hell, according to God’s spokesman, will be dragged by thousands of angels on Judgement Day and anchored beneath Paradise, ready to receive those whom Allah condemns to burn in its depth for eternity.

The Prophet said: “Hell will be brought forth that Day by means of seventy thousand ropes, each of which will be held by seventy thousand angels.”

Sahih Muslim 40.6810

They may not have to drag it too far if Muhammad’s explanation as to the seasons, or what causes summer and winter weather, has any validity.

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "In very hot weather delay the Zuhr prayer till it becomes (a bit) cooler because the severity of heat is from the raging of Hell-fire. The Hell-fire of Hell complained to its Lord saying: O Lord! My parts are eating (destroying) one another. So Allah allowed it to take two breaths, one in the winter and the other in the summer. The breath in the summer is at the time when you feel the severest heat and the breath in the winter is at the time when you feel the severest cold."

Bukhari 10.512

Allah may have created a gigantic fire-breathing monster, if a revelation that anthropomorphizes Hell is any indication.

50:30 “On the Day We shall say to Hell: ‘Are you full?', and it shall respond: ‘Is there more to come?'”

Believers in Paradise who have the stomach for it and who, like Allah and His spokesman, take pleasure in witnessing the suffering of sceptics, will be able to both see and be heard by their kin burning in Hell.

37:50 Then, they will advance one towards the other asking each other.

37:51 One of them will say: “I had a comrade;

37:52 “Who used to say: ‘Are you then one of the confirmed believers?’

37:53 “Will we, once we are dead and have become dust and bones, be really judged?”

37:54 He said (to his companion): “Are you looking down?”

37:55 He looked and saw him in the centre of Hell.

37:56 He said: “By Allah, you almost caused my perdition.

37:57 “But for my Lord’s Grace, I would have been one of those brought forward.”

Those on fire in Allah’s beastly torture chamber will not blame the omnipotent god, whose grace was not forthcoming, for their plight, but instead will invite Allah’s curse on those who led them astray.

7:44 And the people of Paradise will call out to the people of the Fire: “We have found what our Lord promised us to be true; so have you found what your Lord promised to be true?” They will say: “Yes.” Thereupon a caller from their midst shall call out: “May Allah’s curse be upon the wrongdoers;

7:45 “Who bar [others] from Allah’s Way and desire it to be crooked; and they disbelieve in the Hereafter.”