Boreal

LOVE, SEX AND ISLAM

Sex in the Hereafter

Clothing

It was narrated from Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Al-Sham (Greater Syria, including Palestine, i.e., the Levant) is the land of the gathering and the resurrection.”

On Judgement Day, while you’re standing there on a plain somewhere in the Middle East waiting with perhaps a trillion people or more to be judged, look around you, these are the last strangers you will ever see naked, and not a circumcised penis in the bunch.

Narrated Aisha:

Allah's Apostle said, "The people will be gathered barefooted, naked, and uncircumcised."

I said, "O Allah's Apostle! Will the men and the women look at each other?"

He said, "The situation will be too hard for them to pay attention to that."

Bukhari 76.534

In Paradise it will be a different story. You may all have the same body type, be the same age and all copulating like crazy, but you must still avoid showing too much skin when out in the open out of respect for Allah’s abhorrence of public nudity—Judgement Day notwithstanding—even when having sex with a houris on one of Allah’s “ranged couches.”

52:20 Reclining on ranged couches, and We shall wed them to wide-eyed houris.

20:118 “You will certainly not be hungry therein, nor be naked.”

Even in Hell, you shall not be naked. On Judgement Day, groups of people deemed unworthy of Paradise will be clothed in garments made of pitch, a form of tar, that will feed the fire burning their faces. They will be chained to other individuals undeserving of Allah’s compassion or mercy and marched into His Hell.

14:49 And you will see the wicked sinners on that Day bound together in chains.

14:50 Their garments made of pitch, and their faces covered with fire.

Once safely inside the belly of the beast, their pitch gowns will be replaced by custom cut garments of flame that will leave their heads exposed, onto which hot water will be poured, followed by a beating with an iron rod.

22:19 … To the unbelievers, garments of fire shall be cut up and over their heads boiling water shall be poured;

22:20 Whereby whatever is in their bellies and in their skin shall be melted.

22:21 And for them are iron rods (to beat their heads with).

Sex is the carrot, Hell is the stick, and quite the stick it is. What will it be: a green silk gown and an eternity fornicating your brains out, or a garment of flames and being spit-roasted for the same length of time like the hapless Abu Lahab?

111:1 Perish the hands of Abu Lahab, and may he perish too;

111:2 Neither his wealth nor what he has earned will avail him anything.

111:3 He will roast in a flaming fire,

111:4 And his wife will be a carrier of fire-wood,

111:5 She shall have a rope of fibre around her neck.

 Allah has made the choice obvious:

44:51 However, the God-fearing are in a secure place;

44:52 In gardens and well-springs.

44:53 They wear silk and brocade facing each other.

Everyone will be personally dressed by Allah, though you may have to wait awhile; the first He will dress is Abraham.

Narrated Ibn Abbas:

The Prophet said, "You will be gathered (on the Day of Judgment), bare-footed, naked and not circumcised."

He then recited: 'As We began the first creation, We shall repeat it: A Promise We have undertaken: Truly we shall do it.' (21:104)

He added, "The first to be dressed on the Day of Resurrection, will be Abraham.”

Bukhari 55.568

Don’t worry. There is little chance of Allah running out of gowns before it’s time for Him to cover your nakedness. It would be difficult for gods acting in concert to look after the welfare of those in Paradise while attending to the roasting of the unbelievers in Hell, let alone a god on his own. A similar situation was faced by Muhammad when confronted with an equally daunting, but human-scale problem: getting hordes of believers to behave as Allah intended in the here-and–now until God took over in the Hereafter. With a little help from Allah, the problem was made manageable by taking away the believers’ free will.

33:36 It is not up to any believer, man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger have passed a judgement, to have any choice in their affairs. Whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger have gone astray in a manifest manner.

Allah will do the same in Paradise. He too, but even more so, will severely limit the choices available to those invited into His home in the sky, and that includes clothing. A silk gown and brocade is fine for lounging—if that is all you will doing for an eternity, then maybe you won’t need a pair of jeans or any other type of garment for that matter—but did Allah have to make them all green to match His green carpets, rugs and cushions?

18:30 As for those who believe and do the good deeds, surely, We will not waste the reward of him who does the good work.

18:31 Those shall have Gardens of Eden, beneath which rivers flow, bejeweled therein with bracelets of gold, and wearing green clothes of silk and brocade, reclining therein on couches. Blessed is their reward and fair is the resting place!

God, in promoting His green silk and brocade gowns as the definitive fashion statement, reminds me of the times I accompanied my wife to buy a fancy dress or business attire. It was never just about the fabric or the colour, but how you would accessorize it, and the same goes for Allah.

76:20 If you look there, you will see bliss and a vast kingdom.

76:21 Upon them are green silk garments and brocade; and they have been adorned with silver bracelets, and their Lord has given them a pure potion (wine).

76:22 “This indeed has been your reward, and your endeavour has been appreciated.”

What about matching gold bracelets? Don’t forget the pearls.

35:33 Into Gardens of Eden they enter, wherein they are adorned with gold bracelets and pearls and their clothing therein will be silk.

All the silk and bling could not make up for the thrill of watching Joyce first pull down her jeans, then pull them back up after we had had sex. A full-length silk gown and jewelry could not make up for the sight of Anne—in a sexy number that could have been from Victoria’s Secret, a company that achieved fame and fortune by designing clothing to excite—inviting me to follow her bouncing, bare buttocks up the stairs to her bedroom.

If only God, in choosing an oasis on the Arabian Peninsula as His template for Paradise, had kept some of the traditions of the pre-Islamic Arabs, which included running around the Ka’ba naked during the Hajj to the obvious enjoyment of those around them.

Narrated Abu Huraira:

In the year prior to the last Hajj of the Prophet when Allah’s Apostle made Abu Bakr the leader of the pilgrims, the latter (Abu Bakr) sent me in the company of a group of people to make a public announcement: 'No pagan is allowed to perform Hajj after this year, and no naked person is allowed to perform Tawaf (circumambulation) of the Kaba.'

Bukhari 26.689