Boreal
Remembering Uzza
If Islam Was Explained to Me in a Pub
The Medium and the Message
Uzza:
Muhammad was a very successful merchant and that is evident in the mercantile
aspect of many of his sayings and example and in Allah’s revelations. An
illiterate merchant would have been taken to the cleaners by the people he dealt
with, but that is the miracle of Muhammad, the successful merchant and the most
successful prophet of all times, if you believe in miracles. Muhammad told the
angel Gabriel that he could not read, so the angel recited the Koran to him. But
that is not the point I am trying to make.
Archie: Are you saying that we should read the Koran?
Uzza: If the British population had read Mein Kampf and accepted that the author meant to carry out what he said he would do given the opportunity, do you not think Chamberlain would have been less inclined to pander to a sociopath? If more Germans had taken Hitler's rants seriously, chances are he would never have been made Chancellor. If more people had read the Koran and accepted that the author meant to carry out what He revealed in easy-to-understand “clearly expounded” verses[92], chances are Western civilization would not be staring into the abyss.
Archie: It's a bit too late for that now, too.
Uzza: Mein Kampf is banned, but not the Koran. There is nothing stopping you from reading it and learning a few verses, if only to save your life when they come for you.
Archie: For what?
Bob: To take your head off like they did at Badr. Can we get back to that battle and what happened next?
Archie: In a minute. Uzza, I always thought that it was Allah who taught the Koran to Muhammad. Now you are telling us that it was an angel all along.
Uzza: Yes. You could consider Gabriel the Messenger to the Messenger.
Archie: So, Muhammad never spoke to God directly, nor God directly to him?
Uzza: I did not say that. Gabriel used to visit Muhammad on a regular basis, usually at night, which is why some have speculated − and there is a saying of Muhammad to that effect − that much of the Koran was delivered in dreams.
Bob: The Koran was all dreamt up?
Uzza: I did not say that either, although we have an authenticated account of a companion of Muhammad, when asked by a believer to show Muhammad receiving a communication from above, pulling open a tent flap to show a snoring Muhammad[93], and a saying from Muhammad himself where he asks a jealous wife to be kind to Aisha because Allah only sends revelations when he is in bed with her[94].
Bob: You mean, Allah interrupted the Prophet while he was having sex to talk about the Koran?
Uzza: No, silly, after, when Muhammad and Aisha had drifted off to sleep.
Bob: That had to be some girl for God to make an exception to communicating with the Prophet with a female next to him, and to wait until they were finished doing whatever they were doing before getting in touch.
Uzza: That Aisha was special was revealed early on. In another dream of Muhammad, before they were married, Allah showed her to him when she was still a baby, meaning that they were meant to be together. That it was Allah’s Will[95].
Archie: You mean, the Prophet dreamt of babies before he married one?
Uzza: Aisha was not a baby! She was six when they got married and nine when they first had sex[96].
Archie: Like I said…
Uzza: [ignores him] And, as I was saying, the angel Gabriel used to visit Muhammad at night[97], and sometimes during the day[98], with the latest of Allah’s revealed truths, which Muhammad committed to memory and repeated word-for-word to his followers the next day or during the Friday sermon.
Bob: What is a revealed truth again?
Uzza: What you commonly refer to as verses. Revealed truths are immutable facts revealed to a mortal by a god. The Koran is a collection of revealed truths.
Bob: That would mean that a saying of the Prophet is not a revealed truth?
Uzza: As you can expect, an observation made by a person tutored by the angel Gabriel carries some weight. A saying, a story reported as the truth, or even an action of Muhammad that has been authenticated as being genuine by scholars, such as the tent flap story, carries as much weight as a revelation if it does not contradict the Koran. That is why the more than fourteen thousand authenticated sayings and example of Muhammad along with the more than six thousands revelations of the Koran are the basis of the Sharia, God’s Law.
Bob: Can we get back to the interesting stuff?
Footnotes
11:1 [This is] a Book with Verses which are elaborately formulated and clearly expounded from the Wise, the All-Aware.
Narrated Safwan bin Ya'la bin Umaiya from his father who said: "A man came to the Prophet while he was at Ji'rana. The man was wearing a cloak which had traces of Khaluq or Sufra (a kind of perfume). The man asked (the Prophet), 'What do you order me to perform in my Umra (the lesser pilgrimage)?' So, Allah inspired the Prophet divinely and he was screened by a place of cloth.
I wished to see the Prophet being divinely inspired.
Umar said to me, 'Come! Will you be pleased to look at the Prophet while Allah is inspiring him?'
I replied in the affirmative.
Umar lifted one corner of the cloth and I looked at the Prophet who was snoring. (The sub-narrator thought that he said: The snoring was like that of a camel).
When that state was over, the Prophet asked, "Where is the questioner who asked about Umra?
Put off your cloak and wash away the traces of Khaluq from your body and clean the Sufra (yellow color) and perform in your Umra what you perform in your Hajj (i.e. the Tawaf round the Ka'ba and the Sa'i between Safa and Marwa)."
Bukhari 27.17
[94] Narrated Hisham's father:
The people used to send presents to the Prophet on the day of Aisha's turn. Aisha said, "My companions (i.e. the other wives of the Prophet) gathered in the house of Um Salama and said, "0 Um Salama! By Allah, the people choose to send presents on the day of Aisha's turn and we too, love the good (i.e. presents etc.) as Aisha does.
You should tell Allah's Apostle to tell the people to send their presents to him wherever he may be, or wherever his turn may be." Um Salama said that to the Prophet and he turned away from her, and when the Prophet returned to her (i.e. Um Salama), she repeated the same, and the Prophet again turned away, and when she told him the same for the third time, the Prophet said, "O Um Salama! Don't trouble me by harming Aisha, for by Allah, the Divine Inspiration never came to me while I was under the blanket of any woman amongst you except her."
Bukhari 57.119
[95] Narrated Aisha:
Allah's Apostle said to me, "You were shown to me twice (in my dream) before I married you. I saw an angel carrying you in a silken piece of cloth, and I said to him, 'Uncover (her),' and behold, it was you.
I said (to myself), 'If this is from Allah, then it must happen.'
Bukhari 87.140
[96] Narrated Ursa:
The Prophet wrote the (marriage contract) with Aisha while she was six years old and consummated his marriage with her while she was nine years old and she remained with him for nine years (i.e. till his death).
Bukhari 62.88
Aisha’s recollection of her wedding day would suggest that she was not yet a teenager when she joined Muhammad on the matrimonial mat.
My mother came to me while I was being swung on a swing between two branches and got me down. My nurse took over and wiped my face with some water and started leading me. When I was at the door she stopped so I could catch my breath. I was brought in while Muhammad was sitting on a bed in our house. My mother made me sit on his lap. The other men and women got up and left. The Prophet consummated his marriage with me in my house when I was nine years old. Neither a camel nor a sheep was slaughtered on behalf of me.
Tabari IX:131
The fact that her wedding was not celebrated, the meaning of "Neither a camel nor a sheep was slaughtered on behalf of me," may also be an indication that Muhammad was not proud of what he was about to do or that his people did not approve of their 50+ tribesman marrying and having sex with a child.
[97] A hadith about a night visit where Muhammad’s child bride attempted to catch her husband in conversation with Gabriel and was punched in the chest for her efforts. The following is from The Book of Prayers (Kitab Al-Salat) of Sahih Muslim; it begins with a typical introduction with the narrator identifying himself, and if it is hearsay, as most are, who he heard it from, followed by some atypical comments from his audience (no quotation marks were in the original translation and I have chosen not to add any):
Muhammad b. Qais said (to the people): Should I not narrate to you (a hadith of the Holy Prophet) on my authority and on the authority of my mother? We thought that he meant the mother who had given him birth. He (Muhammad b. Qais) then reported that it was 'A'isha who had narrated this: Should I not narrate to you about myself and about the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him)?
We said: Yes.
From Aisha, we learn that it all started when she joined her husband for an intimate moment, after which, thinking she is asleep, Muhammad leaves her side.
She said: When it was my turn for Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) to spend the night with me, he turned his side, put on his mantle and took off his shoes and placed them near his feet, and spread the corner of his shawl on his bed and then lay down till he thought that I had gone to sleep. He took hold of his mantle slowly and put on the shoes slowly, and opened the door and went out and then closed it lightly.
Aisha is not asleep and decides to follow her husband where she observes him doing hand gestures, after which they both return to the house, Aisha rushing ahead and hopping into bed hoping Muhammad is none the wiser.
I covered my head, put on my veil and tightened my waist wrapper, and then went out following his steps till he reached Baqi'. He stood there and he stood for a long time. He then lifted his hands three times, and then returned and I also returned. He hastened his steps and I also hastened my steps. He ran and I too ran. He came (to the house) and I also came (to the house). I, however, preceded him and I entered (the house), and as I lay down in the bed, he (the Holy Prophet) entered the (house), and said:
Muhammad is no fool; he notices she is out of breath and asks the obvious question, and she better tell him the truth because if she does not, Allah will tell on her.
Why is it, O 'A'isha, that you are out of breath?
I said: There is nothing.
He said: Tell me or the Subtle and the Aware would inform me.
Aisha tells whatever she tells swearing it is the truth, and this is when her husband strikes her.
I said: Messenger of Allah, may my father and mother be ransom for you, and then I told him (the whole story).
He said: Was it the darkness (of your shadow) that I saw in front of me?
I said: Yes. He struck me on the chest which caused me pain, and then said: Did you think that Allah and His Apostle would deal unjustly with you?
She said: Whatsoever the people conceal, Allah will know it.
At this point, her husband feels compelled to explain to an obviously skeptical young woman why she did not observe him and the angel Gabriel in animated conversation; one of the reasons being that she was not appropriately dressed.
He said: Gabriel came to me when you saw me. He called me and he concealed it from you. I responded to his call, but I too concealed it from you (for he did not come to you), as you were not fully dressed. I thought that you had gone to sleep, and I did not like to awaken you, fearing that you may be frightened.
The hadith ends with Muhammad, on Gabriel's order, instructing his wife to go to a graveyard, where he will join her later, and pray for the dead as penance for having spied on her husband.
He (Gabriel) said: Your Lord has commanded you to go to the inhabitants of Baqi' (to those lying in the graves) and beg pardon for them. I said: Messenger of Allah, how should I pray for them (How should I beg forgiveness for them)? He said: Say, Peace be upon the inhabitants of this city (graveyard) from among the Believers and the Muslims, and may Allah have mercy on those who have gone ahead of us, and those who come later on, and we shall, God willing, join you.
Sahih Muslim 4.2127
[98] Gabriel’s daytime visits often coincided with situations where Muhammad faced questions that only Allah’s angel messenger could answer, such as on the day rabbi Abdullah bin Salam came calling. Bin Salam was respected member of the Jewish community before he converted to Islam. He became a Muslim after a short meeting with Muhammad where God's spokesperson answered three fatuous questions to the rabbi's satisfaction. It was fortuitous that the angel Gabriel, whom bin Salam then considered an enemy of the Jews, had just had a conversation with Muhammad about what was on bin Salam's mind.
Narrated Anas:
Abdullah bin Salam heard the news of the arrival of Allah's Apostle (at Medina) while he was on a farm collecting its fruits. So he came to the Prophet and said, "I will ask you about three things which nobody knows unless he be a prophet.
Firstly, what is the first portent of the Hour?
What is the first meal of the people of Paradise?
And what makes a baby look like its father or mother?"
The Prophet said, "Just now Gabriel has informed me about that."
'Abdullah said, "Gabriel?"
The Prophet said, "Yes."
Abdullah said, "He, among the angels is the enemy of the Jews."
On that the Prophet recited this Holy Verse: "Whoever is an enemy to Gabriel (let him die in his fury!) for he has brought it (i.e. Qur'an) down to your heart by Allah's permission." (2:97) Then he added, "As for the first portent of the Hour, it will be a fire that will collect the people from the East to West. And as for the first meal of the people of Paradise, it will be the caudite (i.e. extra) lobe of the fish liver. And if a man's discharge proceeded that of the woman, then the child resembles the father, and if the woman's discharge proceeded that of the man, then the child resembles the mother."
On hearing that, Abdullah said, "I testify that None has the right to be worshipped but Allah, and that you are the Apostle of Allah, O, Allah's Apostle; the Jews are liars, and if they should come to know that I have embraced Islam, they would accuse me of being a liar."
In the meantime some Jews came (to the Prophet) and he asked them, "What is Abdullah's status amongst you?"
They replied, "He is the best amongst us, and he is our chief and the son of our chief."
The Prophet said, "What would you think if Abdullah bin Salam embraced Islam?"
They replied, "May Allah protect him from this!"
Then Abdullah came out and said, "I testify that None has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that Muhammad is the Apostle of Allah."
The Jews then said, "Abdullah is the worst of us and the son of the worst of us," and disparaged him.
On that Abdullah said, "O Allah's Apostle! This is what I was afraid of!"
Bukhari 60.7