Remembering Uzza

10 Who Are You Calling Stupid?

(3.2 draft)

UzzaUzza: I've talked too much. Maybe I should leave.

Archie: I'm sorry, it's just that sometimes the stupidity of the Arabs just pisses me off.

Uzza: ARABS ARE NOT STUPID! I am not Arab, but I know they are not stupid, just like the vast majority of Muslims, who, by the way are not Arabs, and also not stupid. If Muhammad had not revealed the Koran when he did, an Arab, not a Jew would probably have discovered relativity and long before Einstein did.

Gerry: How so?

Uzza: The pagans Muhammad was trying to convert had a very modern outlook on the nature of our existence. When told that it was Allah which caused them to grow old and die, and if they worshipped Him and only Him, He would bring them back to life and admit them into His Paradise, they said this was nonsense. They told anyone who would listen that there was only this life and that it was destroyed by the passage of time; what we know today as entropy. When Allah heard this, He repeated what they said in His Koran and accused them of not knowing what they were talking about. He said they were only "conjecturing".

Gerry: Conjecturing correctly as it turned out.

Bob: What has the discovery of this entropy have to do with relativity?

Uzza: [looking at Archie, then at Bob] And you call Arabs stupid. Entropy is all about the impact of the passage of time which Einstein identified as the fourth dimension.

Bob: Who are you calling stupid?

Uzza: It was nothing. I didn't mean it. [turning to Gerry] If Allah had not insisted that, what we now know as entropy was nothing but conjecture, an Arab would undoubtedly have discovered relativity long before Einstein did. They were that smart!

Archie: What happened?

Uzza: Isn't obvious?

Archie: But, if I said it I could be arrested.

Uzza: And I could be killed. The Koran asks us to believe with certainty in what it contains. To believe with certainty in revealed truths is to abandon our ability to reason and arrive at logical conclusions. The result of this capitulation to what the pre-Islamic Arabs called nonsense, was the Arabs of T. E. Lawrence.

Bob: Are we talking about Lawrence of Arabia?

Uzza: Yes. As much as he loved and admired the courage and perseverance of the Arabs with whom he fought the Turks, he never understood their outlook on life. What he wrote about them in Seven Pillars of Wisdom is a sad testament to what happens to even the brightest when scriptures overwhelm the mind. “They were a people of primary colours, or rather of black and white…” he wrote, “a dogmatic, narrow-minded people… they only knew truth and untruth, belief and unbelief… they never compromised… their imaginations were vivid, but not creative.”

Gerry: But Muslims, Arabs and Persians mostly, did make substantial contribution to science, astronomy and mathematics in particular?

Uzza: That was mostly during the short-lived Muslim Renaissance.

Bob: There was a Renaissance before the Renaissance?

Uzza: Between the 8th and 10th century, when Islam was in its infancy, there emerged an Islamic school of thought largely influence by Plato and Aristotle, whose works and that of other Greek philosophers were translated into Arab, and which became known as Mu’tazilism or Philosophy of Rationalism, or simply Islamic Philosophy. The most emblematic philosopher of the period, al-Kindi wrote: "We should not be ashamed to acknowledge truth from whatever source it comes to us, even if it is brought to us by former generations and foreign people. For him who seeks the truth there is nothing of higher value than truth itself."

Bob: WOW!

Uzza: Mu'tazilites argued that the Koran should not be taken literally, and that human reason was more reliable than scriptures.

Bob: WOW again!

Uzza: The leaders of the believers of the time, the most noteworthy being Caliphs al-Ma'mun, Mu'tasim Billah and Wathiq actively supported this sensible open-minded interpretation, allowing it to thrive, until dogma reasserted itself with a vengeance and revelation again smothered reason.

Gerry: That is really too bad.

Uzza: For both you and us. Today, the man most responsible for Mu’tazilism is reviled by Islamists and al-Ghazali, the man most responsible for its demise is celebrated as one of the greatest thinkers of all times. It is not a coincidence that most of Islam’s substantial contribution to the advancement of science was from this period when Mu’tazilism was accepted by the Caliphate as a legitimate Islamic school of thought.

Gerry: That would also explain why the Muslim world which constitutes 21 percent of the world’s population has produced only 10 Nobel Prize laureates, with only two in the physical sciences, physics and chemistry, while the Jews who constitute about .02 percent of the world's population taking an incredible 892, 22% of all Nobel prized given out to-date.

Uzza: Depressing, isn't it?

Bob: Not if you're Jewish.

Uzza: [makes Uzza smile if only for an instant] Not to be overlooked is the requirements of an Islamic education where priority is given to learning Arabic and attempting to memorize the Koran in its entirety; the negative impact on critical thinking just as damaging, if not more, than the time not available to non-religious subjects which Islamists consider very much a pre-occupation of the ignorant as is time not spent at prayer or glorifying Allah. If excessive worship is the answer, the world may eventually owe Islam an enormous debt.

Archie: I apologize. What I took for stupidly is simply, from your explanation, the result of indoctrination. But, surely, the preachers and the so-called Islamic scholars who believe in flying horses, a flat earth and Paradise a few miles up are not praying with a full set of beads?

Uzza: The imams and scholars are the smartest of the smart. I doubt very much that they believe in what you said is a fairy tale. They know that religion is not so much about belief but about control, control over people who want to believe, and that is most of us, that there is more to our existence than meets the eye.

Gerry: Then, you agree with Marx that religion is an opiate exploited by people who would rule over us.

Archie: That would explain why the faithful tend to be immune to a slow burning planet. They're all stoned on religion.

Uzza: That is funny, what you just said Archie, but also what Gerry said, because that is almost exactly what the leaders of Mecca said to Muhammad when he told them he was sent by God to instruct them on how to behave, that he wanted to rule over them.

Gerry: Speaking of who said what. An author I read a long time ago wrote that religion was invented when man first became aware that he was mortal and could not deal with it. Unable to accept death for what it was, man made death a rite of passage, not an end, but a new beginning.

Uzza: If religion was invented to allay a fear of the end of existence, then Islam probably took it the furthest, making death something you yearn for. And where martyrs are concerned, something they would do ten times over, Muhammad said, because of the dignity Allah bestows on martyrs.

Archie: Ah, the dignity of it all. Makes you want to puke.

Uzza: One of the most effective battle cries of the Koran, and there are many, is about this yearning for death, "You were yearning for death before you actually met it. Now you have seen it and you are beholding it." Allah said. The suicide bomber is a modern reminder of the effectiveness of Allah’s siren-like call to martyrdom.

Archie: More like Sirens. This yearning for death is really about a yearning for sex, isn’t it, and for normal people there is nothing dignified about that?

Uzza: Allah bestowing dignity on martyrs is probably Muhammad’s way of saying martyrs get more sex. Sex is simply Allah's way of gaining and rewarding the loyalty of men, having concluded that men aspire to no higher ideals than to fornicate their brains out, He promises them sex in spades in this world and even more in the next if they do as they are told in this one.

Archie: And the only way he gives them sex in spades in this one is by giving women no say in the matter. Am I correct?

Uzza: Allah said that “men are in charge of women” and can beat them if they don't behave as the Koran demands, and that includes if they refuse their husband’s request for intimacy which is an inalienable right of every man guaranteed by the Book.

A revealed truth of Allah is that women are like fields to be ploughed at the plowman’s discretion. Brides acknowledge this debasing truth from above, that they have no more rights than a parcel of dirt when it comes to sex and procreation when they sign the mandatory pre-marital agreement granting their husband-to-be complete control over what Allah and Muhammad refer to as her “private parts”.

Archie: Meaning their husbands cannot be convicted of rape no matter what.

Uzza: Not under the Sharia. Then again, if you believe that women are harlots yearning to be dominated sexually but will not admit to it you are just giving them what they secretly desire.

Bob: So, it’s not just men whom Allah believes are obsessed with sex?

Uzza: With so many women gravitating to Islam out of their own freewill knowing what to expect, Allah may have been largely right on both counts. But I think we are better than that.

Gerry: So, do I.

Archie: I never thought I’d here you say that.

Gerry: There is difference between pursuing and wooing the object of your affection and treating her like the wonderful person she is in the hope you can come to an understanding, and not like a manufactured facsimile with no more rights than an inflatable doll.

Bob: No more self-abuse and inflatable dolls because the girlfriend has a headache. Sex on demand. I could go for that.

Uzza: And many men do. Sex may be Islam’s greatest draw.

Archie: What's in it for the other women?

Uzza: What other women?

Archie: The veiled women you see on television all the time and on the internet who defend Islam. They scare me more than the men. They are so in your face!

Uzza: You've answered your own question.

Archie: How's that?

Uzza: Some women, just like many men, enjoy bullying people, especially men. They too feed on the fear they instill in the people they intimidate. For the veiled women you say intimidate you, you are an inferior and many take pleasure, I am sure, in the fear they instill in you by standing up for a religion that uses terror as a means to an end.

Archie: Why would they consider me an inferior?

Uzza: You are an inferior as far as Islam is concerned, an inferior in faith who must inevitably be made to submit to Allah's Will, or be killed.

Bob: But didn't you just say that women are inferior to men?

Archie: And didn’t Allah say that women were so stupid, that they could not remember things as well as a men, which is why a woman’s testimony is worth less than that of a man?

Uzza: Both Allah and Muhammad are in agreement; women are not very smart with Muhammad going as far as comparing them to donkeys and asses. Their lack of prowess is one reason Allah put men in charge. Another reason Allah made them lifetime wards of men, again according to his spokesperson, is that women are inferior in faith as evident by their periods during which she is shunted aside during religious services and observances.

Bob: What does menstruation have to do with anything?

Uzza: I don’t know, it is just another obsession of Allah and Muhammad where women are concerned, and further proof that females, in both intellectual and physical attributes, leave a lot to be desired.

Archie: Let me get this straight. Both God and His Prophet said that women are stupid and infirmed. That means, to be a believing women you have to agree that you are stupid and suffer from a repugnant disease which you acquired upon reaching puberty.

Uzza: No, only that you are not as smart as a man. As to the restrictions placed on them during their time of the month, it is just something they have to put up with, they don’t have to believe that they are impure. This is just something that Allah and Muhammad, like so many gods and their spokesman before them, who did not understand the role menstruation plays in the reproductive cycle, made up, as far as I am concerned, to further diminish our sex.

Archie: Fine, but if they agree they are stupider than me, what gives them the right to lord it over me?

Uzza: They may be inferior in beliefs to a believing man, but they are superior to every unbeliever and that includes all of you, and that is all that matters. Which is why they are entitled, from their perspective, to bully you and get the satisfaction that their husbands, brothers, uncles, fathers must get from bullying them. To bully you, with their approval I might add.

Bob: A lot of bullying going on!

Uzza: Bullying, women being the main beneficiary, is endemic in Islam. It begins at home and spreads from generation to generation and within the umma.

Archie: Bullying is beneficial?

Uzza: If it gets people to behave like Allah intended. This is Islam remember.

Archie: Trickle-down bullying is how Islam keeps everyone in line. Got it!

Bob: What is a umma?

Uzza: It is the community of believers. It is just another transliteration of an Arab word, and a very evocative one at that, that you see imams use during their sermons, and believers, when talking among themselves in a language other than Arabic, as a reminder that it is us against them.

Bob: Transliteration, what's that?

Uzza: It is basically spelling a word in the alphabet of another language so that you can pronounce it.

Archie: When you said that as far as Islam is concerned we are inferiors in beliefs who must be dealt with one way or another; is that what they mean when they say Islam is a supremacist religion?

Uzza: For Islamists, absolutely.

Archie: Is that like the superior race?

Uzza: No, but the methods used to achieve their goal by both claimant to a greater right to life and the bounty of this world are not dissimilar.

Bob: [in a whisper] Are we talking genocide?

Uzza: The greatest mass-murder of an indigenous people may not have been committed by Hitler, Mao or Stalin but by the Mughals.

Bob: What are Mughals?

Uzza: Not what, but who. Mughals is the name given to Muslim invaders and rulers of much of the Indian sub-continent. Indians believed in more than one god, they were polytheists. The Koran is clear on the concept, polytheists are the worst, they must convert or die and tens of millions of them were slaughtered by the believers not having the option of the People of the Book to pay a ransom to keep on breathing and worshiping their gods.

Bob: Were the Jews of Badr worried that they would be killed for their beliefs.

Uzza: Yes and no.

Archie: What kind of answer is that?