Pitch for Love, Sex and Islam, Remembering Uzza and

Alice Visits a Mosque to Learn About Judgment Day

Porn and mainstream producers, what if you could save thousands, if not tens of thousands of lives by making a movie that mixes sex and scriptures? A sort of Fifty Shades of Grey for the sexually naive who have been brainwashed into believing that the dead have better sex than the living and that men who, because of the example set by a revered Dark Age illiterate, see nothing wrong in having sex with children.

You cannot get more blasphemous than Canadian author Timothy Findley in his retelling of the story of the great flood. In Not Wanted on the Voyage, God is a vindictive, doddering old fool, Noah a tyrant and, in the immemorial battle between the armies of the Archangel Michael and those of Lucifer, the good guys lost. Nonetheless, Findley died a celebrated award-winning author at the age of 71 of natural causes.

But that was a different time, a time before the embodiment of the thin-skinned militant religion became a force to be reckoned with in the West and the reason why lifelike animated characters may be called for.

Love, Sex and Islam is meant to be a narrated action-packed two hour visceral visual extravaganza of sex in the here-and-now and in the hereafter with only the sounds of pain and pleasure and the snippets of dialogue in the book interrupting the narrative. The book (minus the appendix) is, for all intents and purposes, the script.

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If Love, Sex and Islam is too much, you might want to consider Remembering Uzza - If Islam Was Explained to Me in a Pub a six hour animated scripted conversation (ideal for a mini-series) that takes place in bar.

Remembering Uzza is meant to make learning about Islam a mostly pleasant experience while not sugar-coating or leaving out the nasty bits. And, is there a better place to get acquainted with a religion that has everyone talking than in the relaxed atmosphere of a favourite pub, in the company of friends and a troubled but engaging young woman to give you an insider's perspective?

Uzza is a story for our time that has the potential to change the course of things to come.

Except for Uzza, who is modeled on a young Muslim woman the author met at a night club in Montréal, and a short appearance by a couple from a neighbouring municipality, all other characters, including Archie the bartender, are based on real patrons of a once-popular Ottawa nightspot.

"We... particularly appreciate the level of thought that went into crafting each character and their relationship with one another.

"A factor that we also take into consideration is that CBC does not produce content in-house, we license content from production companies. Because of this, we typically require projects to have a production company attached to them before we can move forward with development or production consideration."

CBC Scripted Content Team

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If you’re interested in making a difference but Love, Sex and Islam is too risky and Remembering Uzza too long, then perhaps you would be interested in getting your feet wet with a production of Alice Visits a Mosque to Learn About Judgment Day. Nothing riské (except perhaps for the violent imagery), not more than an hour long and the least expensive with only two characters in conversation at what has become a ubiquitous location easily recreated in a studio.

The dialogue is made up, but the revelations are real, as are the sayings of Muhammad. The character of Alice only bears a remote resemblance to the heroine of Lewis Carroll's tale of a young girl "who falls down a rabbit hole into a fantasy world populated by peculiar, anthropomorphic creatures."

Alice Visits a Mosque to Learn About Judgement Day is a relatively short script about an important concept in Islam on which the Koran expounds at length.

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