Boreal

LOVE, SEX AND ISLAM

Sex in the Hereafter

Scenery

An oasis is a nice place to visit but would you want to spend an eternity on one, even if the smell was not always that of musk? Even if the only form of entertainment was not one-on-one sex 24/7 and watching people writhe in pain on fire in Hell below?

Even if you could dress in more casual clothing of varied colours, and all the people you encountered didn’t looked like you and were not the same age, and you could talk about whatever you wanted?

Even if the floor covering, the furniture, and accent pieces everywhere you looked were not all green like the matching robes everyone will be wearing?

Even if God offered a more varied menu that catered beyond an Arab desert dweller’s palate, one that included wine stronger than grape juice, vegetables and dessert?

Allah, like His spokesman, is set in His ways and there is no altering His Words or His Creation, so you’re stuck with His Paradise.

10:64 Theirs is the good news in the present life and the Hereafter. And there will be no alteration of the Words of Allah. That is the great triumph.

30:30 So, set your face towards religion uprightly. It is the original nature according to which Allah fashioned mankind. There is no altering Allah’s Creation. That is the true religion; but most men do not know.

You certainly won’t be able to complain to management!

78:35 Therein, they do not hear any idle talk or denunciation.

78:36 A reward from your Lord, a sufficient gift;

78:37 The Lord of the heavens and the earth and what lies between them; the Compassionate to Whom they do not have the power to speak.

When He separated the mass that was the Universe into Heaven and Earth, Allah could have made Paradise another Earth with its varied vistas, but instead focused on transforming the enormity of His domain in the sky into a place in which His spokesman would feel right at home.

Joyce was the girl with whom I was intimate for the longest period of time before I met Lucette. We did it everywhere my car could take us: in the mountains, in the forest, in open fields, by the sea, by lakes and rivers…and yes, we also did it in comfortable beds. The car provided us with the opportunity to have sex hundreds of miles from our homes in all kind of different locales which made the sex that much more exciting and memorable. We also did it in the car with the rain falling, the snow blowing, the Sun shining, with a hovering moon on the horizon visible through the back window… You get the idea.

Even if you decide to move about Paradise with your harem of houris in tow, the place you end up will be very much like the place you left, and you will probably have traveled all that distance on foot. The only animal mentioned in the Koran as inhabiting Paradise and on which you could ride is cattle, Allah’s favourite animal—they get even more mentions in his Koran than camels, 35 to 23.

40:79 It is Allah Who created for you the cattle, so that some you may ride and some you may eat.

However, before you can ride them in Paradise, Allah will have to round them up.

42:29 And of His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth and the beasts He has scattered abroad in them; and He is able to gather them together, whenever He wishes.

For a god who allegedly created such a diverse planet—with vast oceans, mountain ranges that reached above the clouds, beaches that stretch to the horizons, unbounded plains and forests—to model His entire Paradise on His spokesman’s corner of the world is a testament to Muhammad’s unparalleled influence with God.

The contrived blandness of the people of Paradise and their self-same attire, the blandness of the food and the place itself with its uniform smell of musk and unchanging scenery, leaves much to be desired as an inspirational setting for sex for an eternity.