Boreal

FAREWELL POSTINGS

Part 1

Part Intro | 2 | 3 | IJS | End

A LIFE OF DELUSIONS

October 16, 2024

Lately, as I fear my days are numbered, I have been sharing too much with people I barely know, including snippets of my favourite video, that of my late wife’s fiftieth birthday. While pointing her out to my friendly waitress, I mentioned that one of the last things she said to me was that I was the smartest man she had ever met. What a pretentious jerk I imagined her thinking as I left Abby’s Wine Bar. There was no time to provide context, so I will try to do so here.

Three failed career choices is not a sign of a smart person, but a delusional one. The reason I survived my failures was that they did not stop her from believing in me. She knew that after she was gone, there would be no one to encourage me to persevere, and she wanted me to persevere.

My first failure was the result of ignoring the advice of Sophocles who, in Antigone, warned us: “None love the messenger who brings bad news” and informed my superiors, at the then of Canadian Department of Foreign Affairs (Global Affairs), about my discovery of a multi-million dollar fraud on the Canadian taxpayers first confirmed by our Tokyo embassy and inadvertently revealed by our numbers man in Brussels duping a visit to Ottawa.

My unearthing of this massive fraud would lead to my receiving what I refer to as the Appraisal from Hell, and being fired on a bogus charge of insubordination with a hapless former Prime Minister making it possible for them to get away with it.

The Right Honourable Chief Justice Brian Dickson

The Honourable Mr. Justice William McIntyre

The Honourable Mr. Justice Antonio Lamer

Robert Cousineau, Q.C., counsel for HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN IN RIGHT OF CANADA and Treasury Board.

John E. McCormick, Esq., counsel for the Public Service Staff Relations Board

Bernard Payeur representing himself

During the two years it took to appeal my firing, starting with the Federal Court of Appeal (see Chapter “In the Federal Court of Appeal with a Fool for a Client,” Shooting the Messenger, Boreal Books) all the way to the Supreme Court of Canada (see Chapter “Not a Question of National Interest!,” Shooting the Messenger, Boreal Books) , using leading edge Canadian software that I would use as my calling card to find work despite the Appraisal from Hell. It was not quite ready when my appeal to the Supreme Court of Canada was dismissed, not on its merit, but because, in the words of The Right Honourable Chief Justice Brian Dickson, it was “not a question of national interest.”

The Court staff had emphasized that for my appeal to be successful, I had to convince the Court that my case was “a question of national interest,” and this is what I tried to do in my Memorandum of Points of Arguments and during my presentation, to no avail.

12. This case raises the following question of importance:

Whether correspondence between a private citizen and a Member of Parliament is privileged information and whether such correspondence can be used by public servants in judicial or quasi-judicial proceedings, in which they are implicated, without bringing the administration of justice into disrepute.

13. By introducing the letter from the Rt. Hon. Joe Clark to the Applicant into the proceedings before the Public Service Staff Relations Board, officials of the Department of External Affairs brought the administration of justice into disrepute by creating a situation whereby the adjudicator could not rule in favour of the Applicant without questioning the competence of the Secretary of State for External Affairs.

A few days after The Right Honourable Chief Justice Brian Dickson said those discouraging words and invited me to leave his courtroom I received word that someone wanted to offer me a job. André’s small Montréal-based computer consulting firm had won an impressive contract to provide user support to the Canadian International Development Agency (CIDA), and he was looking for someone to manage the young people he would be sending to Ottawa. I took the job (see Chapter "CIDA," Shooting the Messenger, Boreal Books).

Sharing a drink at a bar during one of his visit to Ottawa I told André that I had inadvertently found out who he bribed at CIDA and at the then Department of Supply and Services to obtain the contract. He was candid about it and said it was the reason why he hired me. Knowing my history, he was confident that after what they did to me for telling on my bosses I would not make that mistake again. And he was right. And that is how corruption becomes endemic.

André was convinced, and I can’t blame him, that a supplier of goods or services to the Federal Government could not play by the rules and stay in business. "You played by the rules," he said, "and what did that get you?"

He had a point. It did not matter; I could not operate that way. We parted amicably; after all, he had saved my marriage and possibly my life when he offered me a job. The Boreal Shell was now ready for prime time. I started my own consulting firm, Boreal Consulting and used the shell to get clients. The next few years were good years.

My first client was the Department of Indian and Northern Affairs Canada (INAC). The next few years were good years, then the government declared ZIM’s super-efficient way of retrieving information not compliant with an old standard developed by IBM 30 years earlier called SQL (pronounced sequel) which it adopted as a government-wide standard (see Chapter “The Butterfly Effect,” Shooting the Messenger, Boreal Books). This not only made it next impossible to get new government clients, but existing ZIM clients started abandoning the DBMS (Database Management System) in favour of inferior American products.

One of my clients, the Ontario First Nations Technical Service Corporation based in Toronto stayed with ZIM and the Boreal Shell. In doing, so with the assistance of Michael Cowpland of Corel fame who had recently acquired the ZIM Corporation they would have succeeded in saving this cutting-edge Canadian gem until the rest of the industry caught up, had it not been for the perfidy of INAC.

My last client for the Boreal Shell was Bell Canada Enterprises. With the help of the smartest manager I have ever worked with, we beat Google to Google only to have new management abandon the project days before going live.

It was post 9/11, after I had returned from Montréal for good, when I picked up a copy of the Koran in the hope of understanding what happened that fateful day and decided to write about it. It is a failure in progress.

INVESTIGATING A TARDY DEMISE

November 6, 2024

In 2017 I was diagnosed with a rising aortic aneurism. Every eight months or so I went in for an echocardiogram to check if it had expanded to a size where surgery to cut off the damaged portion to be replaced by some type of polyethylene tubing was called for. After Lucette passed away on July 5, 2019 I cancelled any further measurements and decided to let nature take its course.

I will now have my first thoracic echocardiogram in more than five years. It was my doctor’s idea. In the event that the size of the aneurism warrants surgical intervention, she still hopes to convince me to have the operation to replace the damaged portion with some kind of polyethylene tube. Not going to happen! Maybe, like Muhammad, it will be an unfortunate accident that will lead to my demise.

A few years back, I read the more than fourteen thousand authenticated sayings and deeds of Muhammad, the so-called hadiths that are part of the Sunni cannon, and arrived at my own conclusion as to the cause of his death. The results I published in a posting that is also a chapter of 1001 Sayings and Deeds of the Prophet Muhammad which I include here as part of my Farewell Postings. This will be the first time, and definitely not the last, that I will quote Muhammad in my postings. Therefore, before we proceed, an introduction into hadith literature is definitely in order.

Islam is not so much a religion as a way of life, with thousands of indelible rules to instruct every waking moment of a believer’s existence. First, there are the Koran’s more than six thousand revealed truths, i.e., immutable facts communicated to a mortal by a god and then there are the hadiths whose importance cannot be overstated.

The authenticated sayings and example of the Prophet Muhammad, along with Koran, are the basis of Sharia law. Given the fact that [hadiths are] often used as the lens through which to interpret the Koran, many Muslim jurists consider [them] to be even a greater authority on the practice of Islam.

Sam Harris, The End of Faith - Religion, Terror and the Future of Reason, 2004, W. W. Norton & Company.

In Islam: A Short History (2002), Karen Armstrong, former nun and unabashed fan of Muhammad, explains why hadiths were made necessary and how they transformed Islam:

The Quran contains very little legislation, and what laws there were had been designed for a much simpler society. So some of the jurists began to collect reports about the Prophet and his companions to find out how they had behaved in a given situation… Thus they believed they would gain true ilm, knowledge of what was right and how to behave... (p.49)

The Prophet, the Perfect Man, became the person to imitate. (p. 60)

DEATH OF THE PROPHET

(Abbreviated from 1001 Sayings and Deeds of the Prophet Muhammad, Boreal Books)

Prophets are granted the right to decide when it is their time to die.

Narrated Aisha (the wife of the Prophet):

When Allah's Apostle was in good health, he used to say, "No prophet's soul is ever captured unless he is shown his place in Paradise and given the option (to die or survive)." So when the death of the Prophet approached and his head was on my thigh, he became unconscious for a while and then he came to his senses and fixed his eyes on the ceiling and said, "O Allah (with) the highest companions."

I said, "Hence he is not going to choose us." And I came to know that it was the application of the narration which he (the Prophet) used to narrate to us.

And that was the last statement of the Prophet (before his death) i.e., "O Allah! With the highest companions."

Bukhari 76.516

Muhammad spent his last days on Earth in the house of his favourite wife and confidante, Aisha.

Narrated Aisha:

When the ailment of the Prophet became aggravated and his disease became severe, he asked his wives to permit him to be nursed (treated) in my house. So they gave him the permission.

Then the Prophet came (to my house) with the support of two men, and his legs were dragging on the ground, between 'Abbas, and another man.

Ubaid-Ullah (the sub narrator) said, "I informed 'Abdullah bin Abbas of what Aisha said. Ibn Abbas said: 'Do you know who was the other man?' I replied in the negative. Ibn Abbas said, 'He was Ali (bin Abi Talib)."

Aisha further said, "When the Prophet came to my house and his sickness became aggravated he ordered us to pour seven skins full of water on him, so that he might give some advice to the people. So he was seated in a Mikhdab (brass tub) belonging to Hafsa, the wife of the Prophet. Then, all of us started pouring water on him from the water skins till he beckoned to us to stop and that we have done (what he wanted us to do). After that he went out to the people."

Bukhari 4:197

Muhammad disliked taking medicine.

Narrated Aisha:

We poured medicine in one side of the Prophet's mouth during his illness and he started pointing to us, meaning to say, "Don't pour medicine in my mouth."

We said, "(He says so) because a patient dislikes medicines."

When he improved and felt a little better, he said, "Didn't I forbid you to pour medicine in my mouth?"

We said, "(We thought it was because of) the dislike, patients have for medicines."

He said, "Let everyone present in the house be given medicine by pouring it in his mouth while I am looking at him, except Abbas as he has not witnessed you (doing the same to me)."

Bukhari 59.735

During his last days, Muhammad asked Abu Bakr, who would succeed him as leader of the believers, to lead his flock in prayer:

Narrated Al-Aswad:

"We were with Aisha discussing the regularity of offering the prayer and dignifying it. She said, 'When Allah's Apostle fell sick with the fatal illness and when the time of prayer became due and Adhan was pronounced, he said, 'Tell Abu Bakr to lead the people in prayer.'

He was told that Abu Bakr was a soft-hearted man and would not be able to lead the prayer in his place.

The Prophet gave the same order again but he was given the same reply.

He gave the order for the third time and said, 'You (women) are the companions of Joseph. Tell Abu Bakr to lead the prayer.' So Abu Bakr came out to lead the prayer.

In the meantime the condition of the Prophet improved a bit and he came out with the help of two men one on each side.

As if I was observing his legs dragging on the ground owing to the disease. Abu Bakr wanted to retreat but the Prophet beckoned him to remain at his place and the Prophet was brought till he sat beside Abu Bakr.'"

Al-A'mash was asked, "Was the Prophet praying and Abu Bakr following him, and were the people following Abu Bakr in that prayer?"

Al-A'mash replied in the affirmative with a nod of his head. Abu Muawiya said, "The Prophet was sitting on the left side of Abu Bakr who was praying while standing."

Bukhari 11.633

As his condition deteriorated, Muhammad could only watch the believers at prayer.

Narrated Anas:

The Prophet did not come out for three days. The people stood for the prayer and Abu Bakr went ahead to lead the prayer. (In the meantime) the Prophet caught hold of the curtain and lifted it.

When the face of the Prophet appeared we had never seen a scene more pleasing than the face of the Prophet as it appeared then.

The Prophet beckoned to Abu Bakr to lead the people in the prayer and then let the curtain fall. We did not see him (again) till he died.

Bukhari 11.649

The last two chapters of the Koran, 113 and 114, are known as the Muawidhatan (also spelled Mu'awwidhatayn) the Verses of Refuge. When he feared his time had come, Muhammad repeated over and over these two short surahs.

Narrated Aisha:

Whenever Allah's Apostle became ill, he used to recite the Muawidhatan and blow his breath over himself (after their recitation) and rubbed his hands over his body. So when he was afflicted with his fatal illness. I started reciting the Muawidhatan and blowing my breath over him as he used to blow and made the hand of the Prophet pass over his body.

Bukhari 59.723

THE DAYBREAK

113 Al-Falaq

In the Name of Allah,

the Compassionate, the Merciful

113:1 Say: “I seek refuge with the Lord of the Daybreak,

113:2 “From the evil of what He has created,

113:3 “And the evil of the darkness when it gathers,

113:4 “And the evil of those who blow into knotted reeds (witches or sorceresses),

113:5 “And from the evil of the envious when he envies.”

THE PEOPLE

114 An-Nâs

In the Name of Allah,

the Compassionate, the Merciful

114:1 Say: “I seek refuge with the Lord of the People,

114:2 “The King of the people,

114:3 “The God of the people,

114:4 “From the evil of the slinking whisperer [Satan],

114:5 “Who whispers in the breasts of people,

114:6 “Both jinn and men.”

In Muhammad’s time, witches were thought to blow into knots to cast spells, another superstition from the Dark Ages that found its way into the Koran. Surah 113 as a choice for a last appeal to a higher power before the darkness closes in is revealing, not only in its reference to witches, but in Allah admitting He is the source of evil.

113:1-2 Say: “I seek refuge with the Lord of the Daybreak, From the evil of what He has created,”

The Prophet's last orders:

Narrated Said bin Jubair:

That he heard Ibn Abbas saying, "Thursday! And you know not what Thursday is?"

After that Ibn Abbas wept till the stones on the ground were soaked with his tears. On that I asked Ibn Abbas, "What is (about) Thursday?"

He said, "When the condition (i.e. health) of Allah's Apostle deteriorated, he said, 'Bring me a bone of scapula, so that I may write something for you after which you will never go astray.'

The people differed in their opinions although it was improper to differ in front of a prophet,

They said, 'What is wrong with him? Do you think he is delirious? Ask him (to understand).'

The Prophet replied, 'Leave me as I am in a better state than what you are asking me to do.'

Then the Prophet ordered them to do three things saying, 'Turn out all the pagans from the Arabian Peninsula, show respect to all foreign delegates by giving them gifts as I used to do.'"

The sub-narrator added, "The third order was something beneficial which either Ibn Abbas did not mention or he mentioned but I forgot."

Bukhari 53.393

A bad attempt at cheering up a dying man:

Narrated Aisha:

When the Prophet became ill, some of his wives talked about a church which they had seen in Ethiopia and it was called Mariya.

Um Salma and Um Habiba had been to Ethiopia, and both of them narrated its (the Church's) beauty and the pictures it contained.

The Prophet raised his head and said, "Those are the people who, whenever a pious man dies amongst them, make a place of worship at his grave and then they make those pictures in it. Those are the worst creatures in the Sight of Allah."

Bukhari 23.425

Bickering among those around him prevented Muhammad from writing down his last instructions.

Narrated Ubaidullah bin Abdullah:

Ibn Abbas said, "When Allah's Apostle was on his deathbed and there were some men in the house, he said, 'Come near, I will write for you something after which you will not go astray.'

Some of them (i.e. his companions) said, 'Allah's Apostle is seriously ill and you have the (Holy) Quran. Allah's Book is sufficient for us.'

So the people in the house differed and started disputing. Some of them said, 'Give him writing material so that he may write for you something after which you will not go astray.' while the others said the other way round.

So when their talk and differences increased, Allah's Apostle said, 'Get up.'"

Ibn Abbas used to say, "No doubt, it was very unfortunate (a great disaster) that Allah's Apostle was prevented from writing for them that writing because of their differences and noise."

Bukhari 59.717

Perhaps he wanted to make out a will, which the Koran had made mandatory for adult males.

2:180 It is prescribed for you that when death is imminent for one of you and he leaves wealth, he should equitably make a testament in favour of the parents and the near of kin. This in incumbent upon the righteous.

The fact that he ignored this Divine Ordinance surprised some people.

Narrated Talha bin Musarrif:

I asked Abdullah bin Abu Aufa "Did the Prophet make a will?"

He replied, "No."

I asked him, "How is it then that the making of a will has been enjoined on people, (or that they are ordered to make a will)?"

He replied, "The Prophet bequeathed Allah's Book (i.e. quran)."

Bukhari 51.3

The passing of Muhammad:

Narrated Aisha:

It was one of the favors of Allah towards me that Allah's Apostle expired in my house on the day of my turn while he was leaning against my chest and Allah made my saliva mix with his saliva at his death.

Abdur-Rahman entered upon me with a Siwak in his hand and I was supporting (the back of) Allah's Apostle (against my chest). I saw the Prophet looking at it (i.e. Siwak) and I knew that he loved the Siwak, so I said (to him), "Shall I take it for you?"

He nodded in agreement. So I took it and it was too stiff for him to use, so I said, "Shall I soften it for you?"

He nodded his approval. So I softened it and he cleaned his teeth with it.

In front of him there was a jug or a tin containing water. He started dipping his hand in the water and rubbing his face with it, he said, "None has the right to be worshipped except Allah. Death has its agonies."

He then lifted his hands (towards the sky) and started saying, "With the highest companion," till he expired and his hand dropped down.

Bukhari 59.730

Narrated Aisha:

I heard the Prophet and listened to him before his death while he was lying supported on his back, and he was saying, "O Allah! Forgive me, and bestow Your Mercy on me, and let me meet the (highest) companions (of the Hereafter)."

Bukhari 59.715

Muhammad’s first meal after he died?

Narrated Qatada:

We were in the company of Anas whose baker was with him. Anas said, The Prophet did not eat thin bread, or a roasted sheep till he met Allah (died).

Bukhari 65.297

Aisha said that when her husband died, his armor was mortgaged to a Jew. This is unlikely as, not only was Muhammad a man of means, but Tabari [838–923] wrote that Muhammad, after he exiled the Banu Qaynuqa Jewish tribe from Medina (see Chapter “The Jews of Medina,” Jihad in the Koran, Boreal Books), announced that, “Whoever of the Jews falls into your hands, kill him.”

Narrated Aisha:

Allah's Apostle died while his (iron) armor was mortgaged to a Jew for thirty Sas of barley.

Bukhari 52.165

On his death bed Muhammad cursed both Christian and Jews.

Narrated Aisha and Ibn Abbas:

On his death-bed Allah's Apostle put a sheet over his-face and when he felt hot, he would remove it from his face. When in that state (of putting and removing the sheet) he said, "May Allah's Curse be on the Jews and the Christians for they build places of worship at the graves of their prophets."

(By that) he intended to warn (the Muslim) from what they (i.e. Jews and Christians) had done.

Bukhari 56.660

Bukhari 11.657

The last gathering:

Narrated Ibn Abbas:

Once the Prophet ascended the pulpit and it was the last gathering in which he took part. He was covering his shoulder with a big cloak and binding his head with an oily bandage.

He glorified and praised Allah and said, "O people! Come to me."

So the people came and gathered around him and he then said, "Amma ba'du." "From now onward the Ansar (i.e. Helpers, mainly Medinan Muslims) Muhammad will decrease and other people will increase. So anybody who becomes a ruler of the followers of Muhammad and has the power to harm or benefit people then he should accept the good from the benevolent amongst them (Ansar) and overlook the faults of their wrong-doers."

Bukhari 13.49

The probable cause of Muhammad's fatal affliction:

Narrated Anas bin Malik:

Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) fell down from a horse and his right side was either injured or scratched, so we went to inquire about his health.

The time for the prayer became due and he offered the prayer while sitting and we prayed while standing.

He said, "The Imam is to be followed; so if he says Takbir, you should also say Takbir, and if he bows you should also bow; and when he lifts his head you should also do the same and if he says: Sami'a-l-lahu Liman Hamidah (Allah hears whoever sends his praises to Him) you should say: Rabbana walakal-Hamd (O our Lord! All the praises are for You.").

Bukhari 20.215

The last example of Muhammad:

Narrated Anas bin Malik:

Once Allah's Apostle rode a horse and fell down and the right side (of his body) was injured. He offered one of the prayers while sitting and we also prayed behind him sitting.

When he completed the prayer, he said, "The Imam is to be followed. Pray standing if he prays standing and bow when he bows; rise when he rises; and if he says, 'Sami a-l-lahu-liman hamida", say then, 'Rabbana wa Lakal-hamd' and pray standing if he prays standing and pray sitting (all of you) if he prays sitting."

Humaid said: The saying of the Prophet "Pray sitting, if he (Imam) prays sitting" was said in his former illness (during his early life) but the Prophet prayed sitting afterwards (in the last illness) and the people were praying standing behind him and the Prophet did not order them to sit. We should follow the latest actions of the Prophet.

Muhammad's death shroud:

Narrated Aisha:

When Allah's Apostle died, he was covered with a Hibra Burd (green square decorated garment).

Bukhari 72.705

Muhammad’s death agony and its impact on Aisha:

Narrated Aisha:

The Prophet died while he was between my chest and chin, so I never dislike the death agony for anyone after the Prophet.

Bukhari 59.726

And chatter ensued:

Narrated Ibn 'Umar:

During the lifetime of the Prophet we used to avoid chatting leisurely and freely with our wives lest some Divine inspiration might be revealed concerning us. But when the Prophet had died, we started chatting leisurely and freely (with them).

Bukhari 62.115

Muhammad's age when he died and why it is important.

Narrated Aisha:

The Prophet died when he was sixty three years old.

Bukhari B 56.736

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "Allah will not accept the excuse of any person whose instant of death is delayed till he is sixty years of age."

Bukhari 76.428

The last Prophet!

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "The Israelis used to be ruled and guided by prophets: Whenever a prophet died, another would take over his place. There will be no prophet after me, but there will be Caliphs who will increase in number."

The people asked, "O Allah's Apostle! What do you order us (to do)?"

He said, "Obey the one who will be given the pledge of allegiance first. Fulfil their (i.e. the Caliphs) rights, for Allah will ask them about (any shortcoming) in ruling those Allah has put under their guardianship."

Bukhari 56.661

One possible reason why Ali lost the caliphate upon the death of his father-in-law:

Narrated Abdullah bin Abbas:

Ali bin Abu Talib came out of the house of Allah's Apostle during his fatal illness. The people asked, "O Abu Hasan (i.e. Ali)! How is the health of Allah's Apostle this morning?"

Ali replied, "He has recovered with the Grace of Allah."

Abbas bin 'Abdul Muttalib held him by the hand and said to him, "In three days you, by Allah, will be ruled (by somebody else), And by Allah, I feel that Allah's Apostle will die from this ailment of his, for I know how the faces of the offspring of Abdul Muttalib look at the time of their death. So let us go to Allah's Apostle and ask him who will take over the Caliphate. If it is given to us we will know as to it, and if it is given to somebody else, we will inform him so that he may tell the new ruler to take care of us."

Ali said, "By Allah, if we asked Allah's Apostle for it (i.e. the Caliphate) and he denied it us, the people will never give it to us after that. And by Allah, I will not ask Allah's Apostle for it."

Bukhari 59.728

Aisha was no friend of Ali and vice versa. Ali, when she was accused of adultery (see Chapter “The Perfect Wife - A Child Bride’s Indiscretion,” Women and the Koran, Boreal Books) suggested to Muhammad, in so many words, that he have her stoned and be done with her. This could explain her reaction to claims that her husband had named Ali as his successor, perhaps afraid that Ali, as Caliph, would have her executed.

Narrated Al-Aswad:

It was mentioned in the presence of Aisha that the Prophet had appointed Ali as successor by will. Thereupon she said, "Who said so? I saw the Prophet, while I was supporting him against my chest. He asked for a tray, and then fell on one side and expired, and I did not feel it. So how (do the people say) he appointed Ali as his successor?"

Bukhari 59.736

Kind words for the next leader of the believers:

Narrated Ibn Abbas:

Allah's Apostle in his fatal illness came out with a piece of cloth tied round his head and sat on the pulpit. After thanking and praising Allah he said, "There is no one who had done more favor to me with life and property than Abu Bakr bin Abi Quhafa. If I were to take a Khalil (friend), I would certainly have taken Abu-Bakr but the Islamic brotherhood is superior. Close all the small doors in this mosque except that of Abu Bakr."

Bukhari 8.456

LEAVING MONTRÉAL

November 12, 2024

Rather than wait for a balloon to burst or on a fanatic like those in the above photograph to do their worst, maybe it’s time to do a Leaving Las Vegas type of exit. For those unfamiliar with the movie, it stars Nicholas Cage who plays a despondent character who “decides to move to Las Vegas and drink himself to death… Once there, he develops a romantic relationship with a prostitute played by Elisabeth Shue.”

Having been unable to connect with a partner who would join me for some excessive drinking and a bout of intimacy, and be well rewarded if I don't survive, maybe it’s time to return to Montréal and hook up with a working girl like Mary, or travel back in time with a girl like Jasmine.

Lucette, when I got depressed in the more than two years I was stuck at home preparing one appeal of my firing after another, would tell me to go to Montréal, have a good time and see you tomorrow. But of course this is not quite the same thing, which, at this stage in my life, she would probably say: “Are you out of your mind?”

I don’t think so, but I am so much older.

Mary | Jasmine

AN ECHOCARDIOGRAM EXPERTLY PERFORMED BY A POACHED TECHNICIAN

November 16, 2024

Today, I had a thoracic echocardiogram. The first since Lucette passed away. My doctor will be getting the results in about a week’s time.

The technician who performed the procedure was an Egyptian-Canadian. It again reminded me of how the Canadian health care system depends on pilfered expertise from the third world to survive. I level this criticism in spite of the fact that it was a Nigerian doctor who corrected a diagnose and thereby extended my wife’s life by at least five years.

REGRETS

November 19, 2024

One evening, a short time before her passing, Lucette and I talked about regrets. She said she had none. I did, one of them being that losing my job and having to start over after my forlorn appeal to the Supreme Court of Canada meant she missed out on a lot, including what she loved to do: travelling and meeting people.

At the worst of times, and even as her world was closing in on her, she never complained about our life together, and that night was no different. She reached out and placed one hand on top of mine, looked at me with those soft blue eyes, and said, "Don't be sad; that doesn't matter. What matters is that during my life with you, I have always felt loved. What more could a woman ask for?"

A toast to us on the occasion of our 25th Wedding Anniversary

In spite of everything, she had "always felt loved." I never realized how much I loved her until I contemplated divorcing her.

Two regrets I never divulged were about girlfriends to whom I abruptly said goodbye. I broke up with Glenna after attending her graduation. Following the dinner and dance, rather than drive to our special place where we would kiss and make-out, I drove her home and told her it was over. Was I afraid about what could happen next, and convinced that our relationship had no future deciding that someone else should be the first? I don’t know!

The way I behaved, and not talking things over, remains a lasting regret as does the way I ended my relationship with Margaret. She would fly to Ottawa from Windsor to visit me after I made the city my home. After I decided I was marrying Lucette, I simply packed the clothes she kept in my apartment and mailed them to her with a note that said “I’m sorry.”

Returning to my apartment, after driving her to the airport after her last visit, I found a note she left behind: “I think am falling in love with you all over again.” When I wrote my own note, I felt a twinge of satisfaction that she might feel the pain I felt when I found her in bed with Rakesh; a twinge of satisfaction for a lifetime of regret. Not worth it!

Then, there is the death of a young woman, when I was a young man living across the hall from her, whose suicide I should have anticipated.

Of all my regrets there is one I consider poetic justice, which makes it even worse. I was working at the Energy Supplies Allocation Board (ESAB) when I came back from lunch and she wasn’t there. "Where is she?" I asked Arthur. When he told me, I only felt a twinge of remorse. That would change. It wasn't my decision, after all. It wasn't even Art's. I had told Art, who had told the chairman, who had told Art what to do, or so Art told me. Only years later would I fully appreciate the pain and humiliation I must have caused.

To cap it all, a few months ago, a beautiful 30-something woman I had just met wanted us to spend time together. I was putting the finishing touches to my last book and worried that if one thing led to another I might not get it done, I declined. Maybe it’s because I didn’t want her to give me a reason to live, who knows? One last regret—a minor one you might say, considering… but you would be wrong. A regret made even worse by my doctor's observation that the type of activity I feared would interfered with completing my legacy— now a done thing with the publishing of Fade to Black— would not have a caused my aneurism to burst before its time.

THE DAY I SHOULD HAVE DIED

November 22, 2024

In informing me of the result of my latest thoracic echocardiogram my doctor said that I had been dodging a bullet for years, and I may continue doing so, but the odds were no longer in my favour.

I should have died almost 60 years ago as I laid on my back in a drainage ditch adjacent a country road looking up at the sky with a gentle rain caressing my face telling me not to worry. I often remember that day, and just as often wish for a different outcome and avoiding the life of someone who seldom fitted in and caused unnecessary hardship to a woman who deserved better.

The priest who was the difference between life and death said it was God saving me for the priesthood. If there is a god, I must be quite the disappointment.

FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS AND GRAVE MARKERS

November 26, 2024

Having already paid for my grave when I purchased Lucette’s, I was a bit surprised at the cost when I went to make my funeral arrangements: more than nine thousand dollars for a simple graveside ceremony, no embalming and an actual pine box. It’s not that I could not afford it, but I did balk, to no avail, at paying $500 for them hosing my body. I may have put on some weight but I doubt if it will take more than a few minutes. I also did not think it was necessary with a closed casket.

I should have negotiated my own funeral arrangements when I agreed to hers. That would have avoided what may have been non-negotiable extras added knowing that I would pay anything to be buried next to her. Beechwood is a national treasure operated by a non-profit foundation; if the money will go to its upkeep, who I am to complain.

To the left is a picture of me sitting in the shade a few days after Lucette's burial having planted the first of many flowers and shrubs (even a tree) before and after the installation of our tombstone.

To get Lucette a grave near a large shady tree I had to buy three graves, instead of two—one for her and one for me. This was a short time before she died.

At first she said I was wasting my money. She changed her mind when I said it meant I would visit with her on even the hottest of days and sit under the shade of her tree while we talked.

I visited with her every week except for when that idiotic Covid restriction went into effect that forced Beechwood to close the cemetery to visitors.

While waiting to install a proper tombstone, Beechwood gave me to following plaque to mark Lucette's resting place.

Her grave last summer:

Her tombstone in winter fronted by a small plastic XMAS tree that used to decorate her apartment at Christmas time when we dated.

MISSING HER MORE THAN EVER

November 27, 2024

Eulogy

EYES WIDE OPEN

November 28, 2024

In September, after having a late supper in front of the television, I got up and felt a stabbing pain in my chest with every beat of my heart. This is it thought, and let myself fall back on the couch, stretched out my legs, crossed my arms over my chest and tried to maintain what I hoped would be a lasting serene facial expression, not unlike Lucette’s death mask, and said to myself “let it rip!”

No such luck. Once back on the couch, the pain went away to be replaced by a dull sensation. After about half an hour with nothing new to report, I got up, put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, brushed my teeth and went to bed.

I don’t understand the attraction of dying a natural death surrounded by family. Unlike a medically assisted death, like that of my Lucette where they first put you into a deep sleep before the lethal injections are administered about five minutes later, it’s usually not a pretty sight.

That expression of being in a deep, pleasant and undisturbed sleep never left Lucette’s face except for her eyes flashing open just before her passing was confirmed by the attending physician. He said that this happens sometimes, after making a futile attempt to close her eyes. He then made a call and handed me the phone. It was the coroner offering her condolences and asking if I was satisfied with how my wife’s assisted death had been carried out.

After I handed it back, he left with his nurse leaving me alone with my partner of 38 years on the bed, propped up by pillows, staring into the distance as if mesmerized by some spectacle. It felt so real that the first words out of my mouth were “are you okay?”

We had said our last goodbye minutes earlier; therefore, there was nothing left to say, or to do but call to have her body removed. Just before they arrived, I tried one last time to close her eyes. She had a favourite scarf with which I covered them when a knock on the door announced the arrival of the people from Beechwood cemetery.

I hope to die nursing a tall glass of well-aged single malt scotch, and not while watching a porno, but in the company of a real woman—hope springs eternal—with whom I will have had dinner before inviting her to my place to test if sex and alcohol will do for me what assisted death did for my Lucette, die happy.

FINDING SOLACE IN THE ABSURD

November 29, 2024

I envy those who believe they have a nice place to go to when they die. What a comfort it must be when facing your imminent demise. A theory I read about as a teenager devouring books on science fiction and science facts, is that this evidence-free notion was imagined when primitive man first became aware of his mortality and, unable to deal with the implication, invented an afterlife.

In Islam, this idea of a life after death has degenerated into men spending eternity fornicating ad nauseam with female facsimiles in a sterile static musky Paradise in the sky where you all look alike, dress alike and eat like a desert dweller.

This is the second time I have recycled The Promise of Absurd Sex, and I probably would recycle it again given the opportunity because what it reveals about sex in the hereafter is key to fighting the scourge of young men killing and dying on a god’s promise of an eternity of sex with the equivalent sophisticated sex dolls.

And then there is Hell, a place where most women will be spending their forever time exacerbating a need for replicas to keep the men in Paradise busy.

Hell is for Mothers—The Promise of Absurd Sex’s female counterpart—serves as a powerful reminder for women who seek the love and benevolence of a misogynous deity that, in the end, their final destination will probably still be Hell’s Fire

ALLAH’S LOVE OF THE MALE GENDER AND MY ESTATE

November 30, 2024

Islam makes no allowance for reasonableness and that is particular evident in the disposition of an inheritance. Abu Hanifah (b. 700 - d. 767), founder of the Hanafi Madhhab, the most progressive of the four mainstream Sunni schools of Islamic jurisprudence, denied that reason played any part in his rulings using Revelation 4:11, “Allah commands you, with respect to your children, that the male shall inherit the equivalent of the share of two females.”

Hanifah: Who is weaker, man or woman?

Baqir: Woman.

Hanifah: Which of them is entitled to larger share in inheritance?

Baqir: The man.

Hanifah: If I had been making deductions by analogy, I should have said that the woman should get the larger share, since on the face of it the weaker one is entitled to more consideration. But I have not said so.

Allah's love of the male gender and the disdain that He shares with Muhammad for females—which many women find endearing—played no part in my giving a male, in my last will and testament, a slightly larger portion over time of my modest estate. If I don’t continue to support him after I am dead, he risks becoming one of Trudeau’s homeless, and I wouldn’t want that no matter the gender.

MY PASSING MAY MIMIC MUHAMMAD’S OFFICIAL CAUSE OF DEATH

December 1, 2024

Unless I get hit by a bus, or suffer some other misfortune before the blessed event, my official cause of death will be a ruptured aorta, not unlike what Muhammad believed was happening to him. The Prophet thought he was dying from a type of aorta busting poison he ingested a few years earlier from eating a leg of lamb prepared by a Jewish cook.

Narrated Aisha:

The Prophet in his ailment in which he died, used to say, "O Aisha! I still feel the pain caused by the food I ate at Khaibar, and at this time, I feel as if my aorta is being cut from that poison."

Bukhari 59.713

Muhammad's Official Cause of Death

OF SCRIBES AND LAWYERS

December 2, 2024

With my mortality coming into focus I decided to simplify my will.

Mon 2024-11-25 8:30 AM

To: Lawyer

The following changes will greatly simplify my will:

...

Thu 2024-11-28 1:31 PM

To: Lawyer

When can I expect a revised will to review?

Mon 2024-12-02 8:28 AM

To: Me

Given current work load, will do what I can to get this done before the holidays.

Not unlike Muhammad during the negotiations that would lead to the Treaty of Hudaibiyah, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

Mon 2024-12-02 9:50 AM

To: Lawyer

I understand. I am somewhat concerned about my durability; therefore, if you could send me the Word copy of my will, I will make the changes myself then have them notarized.

Muhammad rewrote a section of the treaty, to which the Meccans objected, after his scribe refused to make the modification. This raises the question as to whether the successful merchant was actually an illiterate as implied from Allah's use of the words "the unlettered Prophet" in Revelations 7:157-158 and as reiterated in a questionable biography.

PROPHETIC MEDICINE AND NOT BLEEDING INTO MY RISOTTO

December 3, 2024

Should I have an aortic graph to extend my life for maybe five years I will, for the rest of my life, be on blood thinners; this, after a five hour operation under general amnestic and being put on and off a heart-lung machine which will probably leave me somewhat stupider than when I agreed to the procedure. My sister tells me I have brain cells to spare so I should not worry about that. She is being kind.

What I worry about is a quality of life that now hinges on going out for dinner without having to worry about my nose bleeding into my food because of blood with a viscosity approaching that of water. Of course, if I followed Muhammad’s medical advice for whatever ails you the idea of surgery would never come up.

At one point in time, there was talk of setting up a school of Prophetic Medicine. The idea was dropped when it became clear that much of it was nonsense. Example:

Narrated Abu Sa'id al-Khudri:

I heard that the people asked the Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him): Water is brought for you from the well of Buda'ah. It is a well in which dead dogs, menstrual clothes and excrement of people are thrown.

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) replied: Verily water is pure and is not defiled by anything.

Abu Dawud 1.0067

Muhammad’s understanding of human anatomy, and the cause of diseases, was on par with the god for whom he spoke who could not even accurately describe the gestation process for which He took credit.

Islam is not so much a religion as a way of life, with thousands of indelible rules to instruct every waking moment of a believer’s existence. First, there is the Koran’s more than six thousand revealed truths, i.e., immutable facts communicated to a mortal by a god. Then, there is the more than 14,000 hadiths (the sayings and example of the Prophet Muhammad) of the Sunni Canon.

In Islam: A Short History (2002), Karen Armstrong, former nun and unabashed fan of Muhammad, explains why hadiths were made necessary and how they transformed Islam:

The Prophet, the Perfect Man, became the person to imitate. (p. 60)

Today, you imitate the "Perfect Man" if it does not cause you pain, as his medical advice is bound to, but not if it causes pain to another; that other most often being females with whom, like Muhammad, you can have sex with when they are still children, and stone them when they have reached puberty and beyond.

Today, you also imitate the "Perfect Man" if it does not cause you financial pain, which following Muhammad decrees on the exchange of goods would invariably do, while crippling the modern economy faster than Trump’s tariffs.

HE WHO WILL FIND ME DEAD AND THE HIJAB'S CONNECTION TO PUBLIC LATRINES

December 4, 2024

Abbas calls every day, often more than once. It’s an arrangement we have. Should I fail to answer on any given day, he is to check in on me to make sure I have not passed. He has a key to my condo.

We talked about his home country a lot. Today, it was about Iran’s Parliament enacting a harsh new modesty law that will not only increase penalties for not wearing the hijab, a piece of cloth that was never about piety, but also for not wearing it correctly, i.e., not a strand of hair must be visible.

Abbas still hopes that the oppression of women by the ruling theocracy will lead to a revolution but, as Uzza pointed out in Remembering Uzza – If Islam Was Explained to Me in a Pub, Boreal Books, they can’t do it without the men in their lives.

Uzza: I have to go.

Gerry: Uzza, I’ve thought about it and maybe we should…

Uzza: Just kiss and say goodbye. I am okay with that. Really.

Bob: Uzza, I don’t think…

Gerry: [looking at Uzza] That is exactly what I was going to say [they kiss].

Gerry: Abdulla, or whatever his name is, is one lucky guy.

Uzza: Ahmed. His name his Ahmed, which is short for Muhammad, and he may not be so lucky.

Gerry: Uzza, are you having second thoughts?

Uzza: No, but Ahmed may, after I insist he holds me in his arms and kisses me before our wedding day and when we are alone.

Bob: Why, because you want to find out if he’s a better kisser than Gerry? You know, kissing and being good in bed don’t necessarily go together.

Uzza: We are so beyond those concerns.

Archie: But, only a few minutes ago…

Uzza: It was more than a few minutes ago. More than a few minutes ago I wanted to make love in the absolute worst place if you have never made love before, and with the wrong man. Sorry, Gerry.

Gerry: Don’t be.

Uzza: If things are going to change − and you sort of convinced me of that, Archie, and you, Gerry − women cannot do it alone; in fact, without the men in our lives, we cannot do it at all. We have to find a way to engage with them as equals and in a meaningful way. Get them to acknowledge, if they love us, that there is something wrong with a religion whose founder would have the god for whom he claimed to speak burn us in Hell for an eternity after we have given them all the sex and children they wanted and raised them to believe in the Koran.

Gerry: That last one is no small favour.

Uzza: Tell that to them, Allah and Muhammad I mean.

Archie: Perhaps, Uzza, a first step would be to acknowledge that “them” are one of the same.

Bob: I would have said STOP GETTING THE KIDS HOOKED ON THE DAMNED BOOK!

Uzza: [earnestly] I have to find out if Ahmed is open-minded about Islam.

Gerry: And you are going to do that by getting him to kiss you before getting married?

Uzza: If we even touch for no good reason before we are wife and man, even with a close relative present, we commit the sin of Khalwat, the sin of close proximity.

Archie: Forgive me again Uzza, but that is another one of the stupidest things I have ever heard.

Uzza: I may not disagree. By kissing me under the conditions I have set, Ahmed will demonstrate that he is not a steadfast believer, that he is a reasonable man … or not.

Archie: Any man would agree to kiss you with the promise of what comes after, especially knowing that Allah will forgive him and blame you for having gotten him to sin, which you will have, a good-looking girl like you.

Uzza: Why, thank you. That is why Ahmed must also agree that I do not have to sign that whore’s contract. I will be his whore if that is what it takes, but I will be damned if I agree to it in writing.

Bob: Actually, you will damned if you don’t!

Uzza: You are so cute. Now I really have to go.

WHAT’S IN A NAME?

December 6, 2024

Muhammad was the top choice for parents naming their baby boys in England and Wales in 2023. BBC Dec. 5, 2024

The less deserving a religious icon’s reputation for propriety, the louder will be the call to silence his critics. And, so it would seem, why parents name their sons after him; proving once again, that you can take the person out of the Land of Peace—the land where wars are never-ending—but you can’t take the Land of Peace out of the person.

My name, whose one meaning is “brave as a bear” will always be associated, not with a bear but a big, friendly dog. I am okay with that, although it would be nice to also be remembered as the author who revealed the real Muhammad in postings such as Most Common Lies Told About Muhammad, in a book about a war he started that continues to this day, in a unique biography, in a collection of his sayings and deeds, etc.

As to being brave… the risk I took in writing about a violent, militant religion from the comfort of my home after a life lived is nothing compared to the risk we expose young people with their life ahead of them, when we send them to fight the likes of the Taliban and ISIS. Rest in peace.

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* For example, in the Land of Peace, naming your children after Greek or Roman gods and goddesses is considered an insult against Allah, the one and only god. Such insults are punishable by death.

PRAY FOR ME IF YOU WANT. JUST DON’T MAKE A BIG PRODUCTION OUT OF IT

December 7, 2024

While I don’t believe there is a Paradise and a god who decides who gets in and who doesn’t, I have no objections to someone praying that I be let in. It shows they care and for that I am grateful.

You could say that prayers have been around since Adam and Eve walked and talked with God, meaning they have been around for millennia.

Until Muhammad, prayers were very much a subdued conversation with yourself, and, for people of faith an uncoerced one-on-one conversations with their god–not unlike Adam and Eve’s—even when praying in groups in places designated as houses of worship.

Muhammad would make prayers mandatory, at the risk of losing one’s head for non-compliance, saying that this is what Allah wanted after a private meeting in Paradise with the god for whom claimed to speak. It was during this momentous face-to-face (God’s face may have been obscured by what the Koran refers to as “a veil of majesty”) that the number of daily prayers were established after some back and forth caused by the intervention of Moses, who should have been relaxing in his spacious grave waiting for Judgement Day.

Muhammad also made prayers a highly choreographed affair, ostensibly after being shown the steps by the angel Gabriel. It is this prayer play that used to be largely confined to mosques and their surrounding, the Musalla, that is increasingly staged in the public space that is the focus of Québec’s premier Legault when he says, as reported by the CBC, “he wants to stop people from praying in public.”

Québec is going one way and English Canada another.

Part Intro | 2 | 3 | IJC | End